


The Final Step

by elirwen



Series: Kinkalot 2020 [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Smut, sensory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:14:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25934230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: Merlin is losing his senses, one by one, but doesn't know why. He needs to figure it out before it's too late.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Kinkalot 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878322
Comments: 13
Kudos: 166
Collections: Kinkalot 2020





	The Final Step

**Author's Note:**

> Written for main challenge of week 1 of Kinkalot 2020. Theme: senses.

It starts innocently. With a cold.

They’ve returned from a hunting trip which turned into a hasty retreat from a massive downpour and further turned into a rescue mission of a druid child that fell into the murky brown waters of a storm-wild forest stream.

Merlin’s heart fills with warmth at the memory of Arthur carrying the terrified boy, cradled to his chest, returning him to his mother who thanked him in between relieved sobs. She bestowed spoken blessings onto Arthur, pressed a simple protection charm into his palm despite his protests of no gifts being necessary. 

Merlin’s heart fills with warmth, his body remains cold and shivering, his nose stuffy. He can’t even taste the horrible cold medicines.

The illness passes, healing made more bearable by the warmth of Arthur’s embrace.

His taste doesn’t return.

***

“Do you think I should lift the ban on magic?” Arthur whispers against his back in the darkness of the night. 

Merlin takes too long to answer, Arthur whispering, “of course you’re already asleep,” deep affection in his voice.

***

He doesn’t notice the change right away. Only when he barges into the kitchen in the morning he realizes his sense of smell is gone.

***

There’s nothing in Gaius’s books. Nothing in the hidden section of the library.

***

Mordred acts without thinking, his hand outstretched, stones from a crumbling wall suspended mid-fall.

“Get away,” he yells at the same time and the knights scatter into the safe distance.

The stones crumble to the ground.

No one speaks. Some draw a sword.

Arthur’s breathing is heavy. Merlin doesn’t dare breathe.

“Speed of reaction worthy of a true knight of Camelot,” Arthur says at last, his voice carrying through the shocked stillness.

Could this mean that it’s time for him to reveal himself to Arthur?

***

He can’t do it.

***

He can see Arthur’s lips moving as morning light dances over the beddings. He can feel each of the words in the soft exhales tickling the skin on his chest. Yet the world remains silent.

He tries to speak but can’t.

He tumbles out of bed, Arthur following, confusion written all over his face. In blind panic he runs across the castle, hides in the secret library. 

Arthur won’t be able to find him here. Is that good or bad?

His mind slowly calms down. He needs time to think.

***

It must be something he did. Or something he didn’t do. It must be the bond he feels thrumming under his skin, the bond he so cherishes, fighting back, warning him, urging him to action.

He can’t believe he didn’t realize before. All the connections. The loss of a sense as a punishment for his continued silence.

He scrambles around the drawers, searching for the letter he wrote months ago then stashed here. He poured his heart and soul into that letter but couldn’t take the final step. He should take it now. 

He scribbles a hasty explanation of his current state at the end of the letter.

Still, he wavers. Can he take the chance even now? Is Arthur truly ready for the amount of betrayal etched in ink on a few sheets of parchment?

His sight begins to dim around the edges.

No! 

He grips the letter in his hand and runs. Back to the royal chambers. Back to Arthur.

His vision continues to fade away.

He bursts through the door.

Arthur isn’t there.

He’s not there.

Merlin slumps to the ground, his back against the side of the bed.

He’s too late. Too late. 

The off-white colour of the parchment seems dark grey to his eyes now. And then it doesn’t. 

Everything is darkness.

***

He startles at the gentle touch to his face.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting here, in the dark, in silence, clinging to the feeling of the parchment in his fingers in fear it would leave him too and he would be nothing but a senseless consciousness screaming into the void.

He holds onto the parchment when someone tries to pry it from his grip but eventually loses that fight, tears springing to his eyes as he reaches for his only remaining constant that is now gone too.

More time passes. Numbness spreads through Merlin’s limbs.

Someone must be reading the letter now. Might be anyone. Merlin hopes it’s Arthur. 

It’s too late for him now but he wishes Arthur to know all of him before Merlin is lost to the world completely. It’s a surprisingly comforting thought to hold onto.

He startles again when someone takes his hand. He hits his head on the wooden beam of the bed and another hand settles there, soothing the sharp ache.

He’s being wrapped in a hug, lifted to sit on a bed.

He knows it’s Arthur touching him now. He knows how it feels to be held in his arms. He hugs back, sobbing silently into Arthur’s shirt.

He licks away the salty tears that stream down to his lips.

The salty tears… He can… He sucks in a sharp breath in surprise and... The sweat, the soap, the faint smell of lavender from the bedsheets.

He buries his nose further into Arthur’s shirt, inhaling more of the blissful familiarity. He noses along Arthur’s neck, up to his ear, finds his lips and kisses Arthur, licking into his mouth, delighting at more flavours bursting on his tongue.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Arthur mumbles in between kisses.

“Arthur,” he breathes out, climbs into his lap, the relief and happiness giving way to need and desire as he keeps repeating Arthur’s name, enjoying the way the word rolls off his tongue. 

“I’m here,” Arthur replies to each chant of his name, growing more breathless with each grind of Merlin’s hips. “I’m…” he gasps as he comes, twitching and jerking under Merlin as he rides out his orgasm.

“Arthur,” Merlin moans, reaching his own peak, drinking in the sight of his soulmate wrecked with pleasure.

The bond thrums with happiness under their skin.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and/or kudos are ♥.
> 
> [My tumblr.](http://elirwen.tumblr.com)


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